decimos

decimos @ 2009-11-07T21:45:00

2009-11-08T02:46:26Z

DerekT (2:47:35 PM): i think you're really an asian, but are pretending to be "mixed"
DerekT (2:47:50 PM): an illegal chinagirl

DerekT (2:50:30 PM): what you 2 going to do?
Kimmuh (2:50:58 PM): take over the world
DerekT (2:52:10 PM): true ambitions of a china girl

WONG.

2009-11-01T20:38:24Z

!#$&*%: halloween, michelle, crepes, As, sleep, baseball, perkins hall, daylight savings, shots, dancin', hometown pride, being called a poet, novemberrrrrrrrrr

anticipation: thanksgiving break, train rides, winter, next semesters classes, summer '10!!

this song is always relevant

2009-10-28T22:15:11Z

Ooh! Get me away from here, I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
so it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours,
here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way,
you could either be successful or be... us
With our winning smiles, and us
With our catchy tunes, and us
Now we're photogenic,
you know-- we don't stand a chance.

Oh, I'll settle down with some old story
about a boy who's just like me
Thought there was love in everything and everyone,
you're so naive!
After a while they always get it.
They always reach a sorry end.
Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then
with a winning smile, the boy
with naivety succeeds.
At the final moment, I cried,
I always cry at endings.

Oh, that wasn't what I meant to say at all
From where I'm sitting, rain
washing against the lonely tenement
has set my mind to wander
into the windows of my lovers
They never know unless I write
"This is no declaration, I just thought I'd let you know goodbye"
said the hero in the story
"It is mightier than swords
I could kill you sure
But I could only make you cry with these words"

Oh, get me away, I'm dying...

decimos @ 2009-10-27T22:11:00

2009-10-28T02:13:54Z

"If a woman ain't happy with herself, she ain't gone do nothing but bring pain to every-fuckin'-body around her."

-Ice-T, "Good Hair"

Truer words were never spoken, Ice-t.

Don't mind me I'm just gettin' my grown man on

2009-10-27T03:04:56Z

lovin' you ~~is easy cause you're beautiful~~ has reverted me back to the sixth grade.

in better news MICHELLE'S COMING, thanksgiving's soon(er), lifechanges are in the works & i have absolutely no homework tonight.

plus i'm seeing Good Hair tomorrow evening fo' six dolla.
yes sir yes.

Smile like you--

2009-10-24T18:54:54Z

One month 'til philly <3
my body feels like it was drained of all its life-giving fluids
my mind however is On
i am through with: not taking responsibility for feelings/actions, self-victimizing. accountability is the theme of this month. cool wit it?

uuum for instance my ipod screen i am over it, it was an accident, it happened, im glad it still works.

no dwelling! no wasting time!

I read poems at an open mic.
it was terrifying but went well.

so i feel like i'm growing. my brain is a shoot apical meristem right now. oh i saw one of the dedicated students from my biology class last night...it was nice to be fucked up with a classmate for once and she told me she has a crush on one of our lecturers who is OLD and ENGLISH and the other lecturer is a lesbian. he's awesome though. he knows plants like nobody else knows plants. and alex is awesome.
i love plants a lot. they are so interesting they're alive like animals, just as alive but their life system is COMPLETELY different.

Anyway i just wanted to say that i am really happy and i feel like my life is so unbelievably on track.
maybe god is in us. so they say. oh shiet.

Anything to avoid you bay bay.

2009-10-20T20:42:24Z

things i do instead of my sociology paper

- make pb & j sandwich
- play with webcam
- brainstorm/outline sociology paper
- listen to songs on youtube
- go outside and smoke
- text
- go on facebook
- write in my journal
- play with my hair
- put on perfume
- re tie my shoelaces
- look at bookshelf, think of how to rearrange
- make lists
- paint my nails
- daydream

All this while i sit at my desk looking productive.
life, ftw!

philurdelfurla

2009-10-10T05:29:23Z

Mmmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well of course you did.
Mmmm what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Of course it is.
Mmmm what you say?
Hm that it's just what we need? You decided this.
What you say? What did you say?

FUCK MAN I'M HOME!
It's awesome. i'm so bursting with good energy right now. HOME HOME HOME
I can't wait to see everyone!
at the same time I can't wait to get back to brown.
so basically i look forward to everything.
though some things may not go as planned. fuck that shit
YEAH

things i love thursday

2009-10-01T00:31:17Z

Things I love Thursday...early!

. yesterday, rahil came into the lounge and informed everyone that it would be rajan's birthday at 12:00am. we all signed a card for him, rahil got a cake & then we waited there for forever for rajan to walk in so we could surprise him. people brought musical instruments down. and when rajan walked in 20 people were there singing happy birrrthday. it was the cutest thing evar and that's why i love perkins.
. hindi! so fun to write. that line over the top of each word.
. reading for classes i actually enjoy .... like music!
. the flexibility of college.
. video chatting.
. talking to my bro bro about music.
. hearing my boo boo's voice for the first time in forever.
. freezing cold football games that i actually pay attention to.
. falafel on meal credit.
. anticipating going to PHILLY on october 9th.
. having everything i need right here. (almost)
. my quickly growing hair.
. mailing stuff.
. waking up at eleven, showering & getting to class hella on time.
. the music library & dance studio across the street.
. the fact that from temple to harvard everyone seems to be really happy with where they chose to go to school.
. being in this random ass town in new england , with people i met a month ago & loving it to bits.
. weekends.
. being eighteen.

all wars are holy wars

2009-09-23T20:05:56Z

"We have a situation in which human beings, who must deal with each other, have vastly different views as to the nature of reality, yet each one believes his or her own view to be the correct one since it is based on the microcosm of personal experience. And to make matters worse, most of us are not even fully aware of our own world views, much less the uniqueness of the experience from which they derived. Bryant Wedge, a psychiatrist specializing in the field of international relations, studied negotiations between the United States and the USSR and was able to delineate a number of basic assumptions as to the nature of human beings and society and the world held by Americans which differed dramatically from the assumptions of Russians. These assumptions dictated the negotiating behavior of both sides. Yet neither side was aware of its own assumptions or the fact that the other side was operating on a different set of assumptions. The inevitable result was that the negotiating behavior of the Russians seemed to be either crazy or deliberately evil, and of course the Americans seemed to the Russians equally crazy or evil. . . So we squabble over our different microcosmic world views, and all wars are holy wars." m. scott peck, 'the religion of science'

Some Things

2009-09-21T06:08:28Z

- an acquaintance told me that i had a beautiful spirit.

- we had an open mic for people of color last friday . it was amazing, from people playing the steel pan to spoken word to guitar freestyling (later i met this guitar improvising man and he called me "philly" and "p-funk"). i'm going to volunteer for the theatre where it was held and get some stage training!

- i laughed an insane amount last night.

- did freud ever discuss a nail fixation?

- today providence saw the bluest sky it will ever see. cloudless, sunny glory.

- i auditioned for brown badmaash. didn't get in, but it was really fun & imma try again.

- "do do do aww, cuz you'll always be my baby."

- i'm visiting philly on october 9th. so many people to see! i'm so kdjghkdjfhgs excited. i feel like i'm going on a journey all over again...home.

- super mash bro's and girl talk never stop playing here.

- i switched my terribly hard anthropology class for a terribly delightful music one. thanks brown.

- i really, really love CREPES.

- "that's hella drawling."

i ain't never growing up.

2009-09-16T01:43:50Z

Flowers in the water, but I'm just his daughter
Walking down an icy grave leading to my
Schizophrenic father. Weeping willow won't you wallow louder
Searching for my father's power

I'm a shake you off though
Get up on that horse and
Ride into the sunset
Look back with no remorse

In a dream my father came to me
And made me swear that I'd keep
What's sacred to me
And if i get the choice to live in his name
I'll pray my way through the rain
Singing oh happy day

for some reason lots of people choose to choreograph to this song. I like it a lot.

i'm trying to read right now... on the history of the development of cognitive social psychology... all the way back to the 1700s. unfortunately i am very bored and chose to paint my nails instead. multitasking > unitasking

i need to take an art class. if LJ went the way of twitter i would tag newton here. :)

i feel like i'm becoming more whole. more comfortable with who i am. that is a great feeling. i am starting to catch myself when i have negative thoughts , which lead to negative behavior. i kinda feel like i'm living a dream but really i'll be here for another 4 years..! oh man. so many people to meet. so many things to cathect. i wish i wrote more poetry. it doesn't seem to flow anymore. so unsatisfying. i want to be a writer but i dislike public speaking, analyses, workshops, and often, other writers. let us wander around providence whose name sounds funny with the others of this area (pawtucket, narrangansett, ) & forget about our life goals forever.

i take naps everyday. i drink tequila with the big boys. and then go on rants about my "social anxiety problem." of all the books on my bookshelf, only 4 are fiction, 2 are poetry. i listen to at least 1 person a day tell me why i shouldn't smoke. i often forget to take showers. i brought all your letters to college with me. i havent looked at them, but i like having them here.

<3

college: 1 week down

2009-09-07T14:51:29Z

right now i'm skipping a "mandatory seminar" on our summer reading to go back to sleep. great start to college right? last night i was laying (/lying?) on the ground next to a bench, staring at stars, smoking cigarettes. it was somewhere between terrible and awesome.

actually, i don't think i'm making that great of an impression on the people here. but that's okay. pre-orientation was good, lots of -isms and discussions and heart-pouring... it was a great way to meet people and bond and get adjusted to brown, but also was absolutely nothing like what the rest of orientation has been like! it all feels sort of surreal. sometimes i forget that i'm at college now.
my dorm is really far from everything, which sucks. but, my room is the biggest in the dorm. everybody that walks by goes "oh my god...is that your room?!" my roommate is chill and we get along.

i really like it here, i feel at home, and i can't wait for classes to start so my day can have a purpose & a schedule. i think i'm kinda done with trying to impress people.

decimos @ 2009-08-26T22:02:00

2009-08-27T02:04:14Z

why can't things ever go according to plan?

I mean really...
just once would be nice.

decimos @ 2009-08-23T00:12:00

2009-08-23T04:14:06Z

Places I Think I Belong

Nyc
Southwestern united states
New orleans
the Caribbean
Philadelphia
Alaska
the Pacific Northwest
my bed
in a tree

Animals I'd Like to Be

lion
wolf
elephant
bat
goldfish

Transportation I Would Like to Use

Vespa/scooter
convertible car
the back of somebody's motorcycle
helicopter
parachute

Girls I'd Like to Do a Duet With

karen O
bjork
verity susman

...
where shall i go when i wake from a dream of you
i tried to forget you i tried to forget you
i want to go on but it's another day without you
i tried to forget you i still see you

once upon a time in minneapolis

2009-08-21T05:43:52Z

I wonder why it's seemingly so hard to find yourself in the city you grew up in. i know these streets like the back of my hand but i never really felt like i fit in with the people around me. i don't think i'll want to settle down here or raise my kids here.
i'm not even close to many people here anymore but somehow i still feel like i will miss them.
eleven more days. i don't want to pack ever.

back when i used to give you hugs
every once in awhile
shut myself off
'cause that was our style

maybe let you touch me
if no one was around,
and we would get down
that's how we got down

but i didn't even know
how much i loved you yet.

and i stayed up
until the birds chirped,
waiting for you
to find the right words
i love you i love you be my man
when you did it was the happiest i'd ever been-
and i didn't even know how much i loved you yet.

& i know your handwriting from the letters you wrote
and i wrote you songs, but the words they were totally wrong,
and we got along though we fought through our days,
'cause i was amazed
at the way i forgave you long before we made up.

the happiest i'd ever been
but i didn't know i loved you this much back then-

woulda sang all those songs to you
hopped on a plane with you,
never woulda let you touch me if i'd known you would leave.
never woulda wrote you or devoted any poems
if i'da known that none of that could bring you back home to me

/o my heart
what can i say
what can i say
about you?

you always run
away from me
& get yourself into trouble
into trouble then start
trembling

you say
come my darling
to the rescue

but you don't want me
to save you

I miss you :(

2009-08-19T04:28:48Z

& I still get to talk to you every now and then
definition of over doesn't have to be the end
it's good to see you grow girl; shake my hand
that's all i want from my ex-lover and my best friend.

this weekend in a nutshell

2009-08-17T04:59:45Z

Gemma & Sandy's last weekend.
Spilling hookah charcoal every time we try to smoke, burning tablecloths/ breaking glasses, putting gemma in this guy's phone as "Gemma hot sushi plandt girl" & then him actually calling her several times, smoking some weed out of an apple & then the rest of it mysteriously disappears? Falling asleep at 5:30 am on a cot in Sushi planet's basement, going to the aquarium with a Newty boo & lisa, then going back to sushi planet to put on various rap tunes & give lap dances & watch gemma's skillz unleashed, standing through the sunroof while andrew was driving (so amazing), having a pounding headache only to have it brutally removed by him rubbing my head with his knuckles, then home to make mommy a birthday card.
This card, I gave it to my mom today and she read the first 2 sentences and started crying. that made me feel pretty good. then her, gemma & I went to the beach and then out to get greek food, where we had a really attractive waiter who said "thanks" to everything. then gemma and I sat on my laptop looking at gullpix.com. . . .
All in all I think it was an OK last weekend.

things i love thurszszsz

2009-08-14T17:51:10Z

Things I Love Thursday/Friday:

- Sleeping til 1pm
- The little black cat that hangs out outside of sandy's job
- The fact that Michelle comes home today!!! :)
- Moving out in: 2 weeks and 5 days & getting my new mailing address
- Alexei's russian scolding in dance class "your muscles have to look like: BOOM. not like tofu"
- Last Friends, an awesomely dramatic japanese drama
- The Comics issue of CityPaper
- Sake in little cups
- Cocoa puffs
- Journals
- The following songs:

Mobb Deep - Shook Ones
Styles P - I get high
Jay-z - Reasonable Doubt, the whole CD
ATCQ - can I kick it?
Ice Cube- it was a good day
Biz Markie - just a friend
Grandmaster flash - White Lines
Beanie Sigel - Got Nowhere
Cool Breeze - Gangsta Partna
Outkast - 2 Dope Boyz in a Cadillac

this was the shittiest week ever ...
but i'm trying to stay optimistic cause that's what we do
i can't wait to leave, though i wish it wasn't that way. at random times i would like to do anything but move away.

Writer's Block: Proven by Science

2009-08-13T06:09:28Z

Do you believe everything has a scientific explanation?

Submitted By mesnyder_92

View 512 Answers

No.

Slug.

2009-08-12T06:00:32Z

there are two strangers in the world I would marry right now:
James McAvoy, scottish actor who currently occupies my desktop background, and
Slug from Atmosphere, the rapper

i'm bored and sad so i'm listening to slug be brilliant here are some of my favorite lines so i can remember later and tattoo it on my brain or something

brush your teeth squash the beef.

respect the youth and understand the drama.

It's not fair, how could she fall on her face for some man-child? Maybe it's his voice or maybe it's his damn smile.

they say they want the truth but they have the truth.
they say they want the light but they don't want the light.

But you're only 20-something. are you ready for change? you've accomplished plenty running, are you tired, are you hungry? up to no good, but down to try harder.

and when they ask if you treat me right
I have to lie and say yes if I'm to answer the question.

turn off the TV man you don't need a babysitter.

i'm begging for attention to be left alone.

write a song write a million songs, but they're all the same song, it's like one long song. fight the wrong and make them sing along, and continue to consume until the hunger's gone. speak your peace n move on move on.

forgot to pack a spine; feel free to borrow mine.

you can't escape regret but you might regret escaping.

the glass was half full so I drank it.

it's Not clear, proceed with Caution 'cause Fear is no longer an Option.

but damn it Imma take it all for granted.

I dunno, ya'll leaders must have lost me ... i gotta go, isn't no one gonna stop me?

i represent a city called hungry. we got anybody Hungry in the house?

we all play the same games ... while we wait for the machine to break down, we play self 101 out on the playground.

n maybe I'm not here for you to listen to ... n maybe I'm not here to steer you, to share my vision, maybe drop a hint or two.

we all need our moments.

"You make me wanna die," he said it like he meant it, story over, no more hoping to prevent it, but--
"You make me wanna live." She said that with a straight face as she placed the keepsakes inside her suitcase.
"Everything you say is a lie." He said that with a smirk, fully aware that it'll hurt when it hits the nerve.
"You never heard a word I said," she responded, but he heard that and remembered it forever like a promise.
You make me wanna die, that's how I trust you. That's how I can look you in the eye and say I love you.

let's lay it on the line let's travel across it
let's live forever, no matter what it costs us

if you're leaving cause of love, it really isn't living.

smart went crazy. truth went trendy.

as long as you meant it when you said it.

from the plantation to the reservation to the farms.

how many times must you prove you're an angel? how many more demons do you have to strangle? how much longer must you remain in this dream before i finally figure out if you're insane or a genius?

hold on to me. grow along with me, i don't know where i'm going but i'll end up in your arms...

brownbrownbrown!

2009-08-11T05:41:59Z

Stuff to Buy for College:

-A laptop/book bag
-Sturdy but cool winter boots
-Rainboots (preferably purple)
-Shower caddy
-Rug for dorm floor
-Mirror

!!!!!!
I'm so excited ... i want to shout BROWN '13 and PERKINS 21 (my new address) at everyone i meet.

decimos @ 2009-08-09T22:29:00

2009-08-10T02:31:41Z

Power to the people
We don't want it
We want pleasure
And the TVs try to rape us
And I guess that they're succeeding
And we're going to these meetings
But we're not doing any meeting
And we're trying to be faithful, but we're
Cheating, cheating, cheating

Hey, open wide, here comes
Original sin

I'm the hero of the story
Don't need to be saved

I'm the hero of the story
Don't need to be saved

this entry is pointless

2009-08-07T01:39:12Z

Doggies are printed on the frames, & everything is bathed in red when you wear them ... like real life rose-colored glasses. what's not to love?

courtesy of john wang my older brother.

Blegh

2009-08-06T08:39:52Z

"I laughed and said, life is easy. what I meant was, life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again." -- miranda july.

"No matter how high you climb, the Old Man had told him, you never outgrow your first love. You simply learn to live without it." -eric van lustbader

"Just for the record, she still loves you. She wouldn't bother to torture you if she didn't. "-chuck palahniuk